HONEYS, SWEETIES & DEARS

I've ripened, I suspect,
And age, it seems, indears.
Of late I now collect
Honeys, sweeties and dears.

The clerk once called me, "Sir"
When she took my money.
Now I get change from her,
And she calls me "Honey."

The nurse would say "Your next"
And not look up to see me.
Today, her dimples flex
And she calls me "Sweetie."

My temples long gone gray,
The girls think I've gone weak.
They're flip with what they say.
They want to pinch my cheek!

Once surly, sour and mute
When she delivered beer.
The waitress now gets cute,
And (wink) she calls me "Dear."

Improper! I protest.
I'm youthful for my years!
They answer me in jest.
"Oh, honey, that's so dear!"

Well, speech today's unfree
So I must show great tact.
They'd call the cops on me
Were I to say it back.

-- Steve Stinson